ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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