Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
