he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
