Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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