If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize