I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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