# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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