You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
