Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
