Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
