This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
