Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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