So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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