okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
