He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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