Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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