My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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