I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
