if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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