I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
