Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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