I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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