i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
