i think my mom watched the whole time
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Randomize
