took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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