are you still at the devil's house?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
