omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
