So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
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