Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
