I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
