i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
