Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
