He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
