tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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