I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
