I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
