went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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