Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize