How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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