I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
