weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Vodka?
Forever.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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