Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
