i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
