listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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