I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
