Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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