I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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