it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Oh god it's open bar.
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