please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
