That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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