just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
