Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
