The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize