I want to stick my p in your. b.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
how does that bad decision feel?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
