rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
