Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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