the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
