i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
