Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I just want to make out with him forever
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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