I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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