Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
