also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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