If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
